Akatsuki's Nightmare: Ayame, the Clumsy Ninja!
by SpookyNoodles
Summary: When Itachi comes close to killing an unusually clumsy girl named Ayame, he decides to put her in the odd position of cleaning up after the other members! But with her clumsy nature, she can't seem to keep out of trouble! What will this clumsy girl do?
1. First Impressions

Random trivia: I refuse to call Deidara Dei-Dei because it means BIG SISTER in Chinese! That's what my dad calls me sometimes!

I don't own the Akatsuki or Naruto or Sasuke, or Jason Voorhees or- gets hit with rock

Chapter 1: First Impressions

"AHH!!! I'm sorry Itachi-San!!! I didn't mean to!!!" a young woman about sixteen suddenly ran out of Itachi's room shrieking and waving her arms. pause

This spaztastic little ninja is Ayame. She was found by Itachi and taken into the Akatsuki. Deidara couldn't resist her hyperactive nature. Tobi couldn't resist the fact that she was clumsier than he; and Zetsu…well he just wanted to eat her. Leader wasn't sure about her. He didn't want her running off and telling everyone about the Akatsuki.

"Ayame-San, come here," said Leader after the Itachi incident. Ayame inched over and kept her eyes down.

"WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?! ALL I HEARD WAS ITACHI YELLING ABOUT SOMETHING--"

"Haaaah!! I didn't mean to! I tripped and knocked over the vase, and he got really mad and, well, you know me, I'm so very clumsy, SORRYY!!!" Ayame let out a disturbing noise of pain and began to babble. Like an idiot. Deidara rounded a corner to see Leader looming over her.

"Aya-Chan! I was wondering where you got off to!" he said as he caught her by the wrist.

"Deidara-Sempai?" she asked as she moved her glasses. Tobi walked in suddenly.

"Sempai! Tobi thinks-"

"Enough! Ayame should come with me," he said. Ayame shot a desperate look at Deidara, who cringed.

Leader dragged her into his private quarters and glared.

"Well, let's see your profile…oh my."

"What?"

"You even admit that you are 'a no good, nothing special, clumsy catastrophic ninja of spaztasticness'. You have a mastery of most weapons, possess no known bloodline limit, can barely walk along a flat surface without finding something to trip over, and are a missing ninja. Why did he even let you become an UNDERLING?"

"I can cook and clean."

"Oh! That's right. We needed a cleaning girl. I was surprised that you come from the same village as Deidara," he said. Ayame fidgeted. She disliked how lowly everyone spoke of her, but put up with it so she could maintain her status- being alive.

"Quite frankly, I don't care how surprised you are about it. I'm only here because Itachi found me half dead on an embankment after he nailed me in the side with his stupid sword," she said with a flare of her temper. She regretted that immediately.

"You are lucky he saw something in you that I do not," said the leader coldly. Ayame inched away, nodding meekly.

"I'll try to avoid similar outbursts in the future, Leader-Sama," she said as she winced her way out the door.

"See that you do. Now go get Tobi."

Aww, isn't she having a lovely day? sarcasm

Please forgive any grammatical or spelling mistakes.

Review, please, and I ask that you not flame this.


	2. Discussions and Such

Chapter 2: Discussions and Such 

PS: I still don't own Naruto, or the Akatsuki, or anything of that ilk.

"I honestly swear by it! I felt ice crystals blowing in!" said Ayame that evening as she ate her dinner with Deidara and Itachi. Itachi gave her that half smile that scared her.

"You have a nasty little temper, don't you, Aya-Chan?"

"She's still young though, hmm," said Deidara in her defense.

"Oh COME ON! I'm at that age," she grumbled.

"Come to think of it, she's the same age as t he Kyuubi kid, isn't she?"

"Yes."

Itachi locked his icy gaze with Ayame's own brown eyed one and made her nearly choke on her soumen.

"Umm…anyway, I'm sorry about the vase, Itachi-san," she began to mutter.

"Ayame! There's a mess in Kisame's room again. Can you take care of that?" asked the blue haired member. Ayame groaned and took her unfinished bowl to the kitchen and proceeded to Kisame's room to see the shark man grinning sheepishly.

"Kisame-san, must you always make a mess at this time? I'm lucky I even get two bites of food!" she said as she tidied up. He suddenly threw something at her, and she blocked it by flinging a kunai at it.

"You're getting better!" he said.

"Kisame-san, why do you always do that? Every night it's 'Ayame-san, Kisame made a mess in his room, could you clean it?' and then 'Hey, Aya-Chan, heads up!'. I'm getting tired of not being able to eat!"

"Aya-Chyaaan, Deidara told me you can sing. Is that true?" he asked suddenly.

"…" she left without a word.

WOOT! Kisame's being random and Ayame's being…grumpy. Eh.

I hope you enjoyed this! Please review, and as before, do not flame!


	3. Tsukiyomi Mode!

Chapter 3(Man that last one was short…) Tsukiyomi Mode!

PS: STILL NOT OWNING NARUTO!!!

"Aya-Chan, don't you think you should go to sleep in YOUR OWN ROOM?" asked Deidara as Ayame snoozed in his chair. She had finished cleaning the extra rooms and was too exhausted to make it to her own room. Itachi came in to see Ayame curled up in the chair and Deidara staring at her. With his vision deteriorating, he couldn't see what had happened, and he immediately assumed-

"Deidara-San, I can't believe you! She's not even a good ninja and yet-"

"She fell asleep!"

"Shut up before I beat you all within an inch of your lives…" she mumbled in her sleep. Though her voice was muffled, there was no mistaking the annoyance in her tone. Deidara smiled grimly.

"It'd be best to leave her alone. She's more dangerous when she's asleep."

"So she holds back when she fights us?"

"She does it for her own sake. She doesn't want to be an Akatsuki practice target, so she-GERCHKTPQLX!"

"Shut up. Don't say another word, unless of course, you want me to destroy your vocal chords-Haaaah!"

"Sing, baby, hmm!"

"Nononononononononononononononononononononononononononooo! Guuuuhh!" Ayame quivered as one of Deidara's palm mouths opened against her throat. (That must feel weird)

"Fine!" she snapped. Itachi stared.

"Since when do you sing?" he asked her as he poked her forehead.

"…" she returned his question with an icy glare.

"Sing the Akatsuki song you made up," hmm," said Deidara.

"Ko-ni-chi-wa, mo Hajimeshite!

Watashi wa A-ka-tsuki,

Ikusei CATCH Jinchuriki,

Hai, Hai, Hai! Akatsuki!" she sang. Itachi stared at her.

"That was ridiculous and cute at the same time. But it lacks hatred," he said.

"You always say that!" said Ayame feeling rather harassed.

"Well it's true."

"Do you-"

"Aya-chan?" the blue haired member poked her head in.

"Eh?"

"Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Of course," she said as she stood up and left the room. Itachi glared at Deidara.

"What's with that grin?" he asked.

"You think she's cuuute, hmm," he said in a singsong voice. Itachi continued glaring.

"While she is fairly attractive, I would never consider her as a potential life partner. She's far too clumsy and panics too easily," he said. Deidara shrugged.

"You don't know her very well. Believe me, I grew up with her. She's this way for a reason," he said.

"Oh really."

"She had a bit of trouble when she was a kid. People made fun of her because of her lack of special limits. She's always had self-esteem issues, but they spawned from the fact that no one ever told her that she was wanted of needed or loved. Her parents hated her for being born and told her flat out that she was not needed. Every day after she was done at the academy, she would sit on the stairs and cry, very quietly to herself. I often heard her say 'There must be SOMEONE in this world that needs me. But I'll bet they never find me in time.' She was a seriously broken hearted kid," he said.

"But that doesn't explain her clumsiness," said Itachi as he took a bite out of the dango that Ayame had made.

"She's been like that forever. I don't even know why. In fact, we met because she tripped in front of me and scraped her chin," he said with laugh," But she doesn't like talking about her past. I think she may have repressed her memories too." Ayame entered the room and waved to the blue haired member.

"Yeah, don't worry about him. He's a giant teddy bear, really," she said with a smile.

"What was that about?"

"She asked me not to discuss it with you guys," said Ayame," Who ate my dango?"

"Itachi-san did it."

"Why weren't you needed, so you think?" asked Itachi suddenly. Ayame winced. That brought up some painful memories. Ayame stared off into space for a moment and smiled.

"I have to clean the dishes!" she said suddenly standing up and grabbing her plate. Deidara glared at Itachi.

"Great job. Now she's gonna clam up about the whole thing, hmm," he said.

"I can make her talk-"

"No Sharingan! She's messed up enough as it is," he said. Suddenly, right on schedule they heard a crash and two voices outside.

"AHH! Tobi-san, I'm so sorry! Are you okay?" asked Ayame when she saw who she had crashed into.

"Aya-chan should watch where she is going!" he scolded. Ayame winced. She must be awful if Tobi was scolding her. Tobi suddenly looked at her.

"It's okay. Tobi crashes into people and is clumsy as well!"

"…" Ayame kept her eyes focused on the ground. Was that a button? Maybe Itachi or Deidara lost a button. (A/N: What the heck?)

"Aya-chan? Are you all right? I didn't mean to yell at you," he said tapping her shoulder. Ayame looked at him and smiled.

"I'm okay! I'm sorry I crashed into you, Tobi-Sama," she said with a bow. She suddenly turned toward the basement. Itachi and Deidara decided to follow her and find out the mystery of her room. No one had ever been in there since she had taken on the job as the cleaning girl and cook.

"Itachi-san, I don't think this is a good idea, hmm," said Deidara. Itachi shrugged and motioned for him to follow him into the basement.

"Why are you going into the basement?" asked Kisame as he walked by.

"We're wondering what exactly is in the side room in there," said Itachi.

"Ayame's room?"

"What about my room?" asked Ayame as she walked over.

"There goes that brilliant plan!" said Deidara sarcastically.

"Would you guys like to see it? You should have just asked," she said as she opened the sliding door to her room. Itachi, Deidara, and Kisame were not expecting what they saw and heard.

A few bells chimed as Ayame walked into her room; a hollowed section in the mountain where the Akatsuki base was. It was a standard bedroom with the dominant colors being black and purple. Deidara opened a small music box and heard a strange tune. Instead of sounding like a normal music box, it emitted a noise that was the equivalent of a choir of children. He closed it and opened it again. Then he closed it. (A/N: Is that fun, Deidara?) Itachi looked at some random papers on Ayame's desk. Just some weird weapon notes.

"You're still studying weapons?"

"Why not?"

He shrugged and looked again. A note? He read it quietly. It was from Iwagakure.

"Ayame-san, this is from your village?"

"Yes. I brought it with me," she said.

"It's reporting a missing nin. And I quote, 'Be on the lookout for a clumsy ninja named Ayame. She is very good with weapons, but is still a pretty pathetic excuse for a ninja,'" he said. Ayame hung her head in despair.

"Keh. I never was any good to them. Why do they think I left? I don't like being a burden," she groaned as she fell onto her bed and smacked her forehead. But when she did that, she hit her forehead protector and hurt her hand.

"OW! Dammit!" she cursed. Itachi and Deidara and Kisame all stared at her. Deidara grabbed her hand.

"What?" Itachi and Ayame asked at the same time.

He leaned over and kissed it. Itachi, Kisame and Ayame all got the infamous "WTF?!?!" expression.

"What was that about?" asked Itachi after the shock wore off.

"She hurt her hand?"

"You've never done that before," said Ayame. Deidara was now wearing an impish smirk. Itachi scowled and dragged him out.

"Come on. You can drool over the girl on your own time," he said. Ayame thanked him mentally for the quick save. If there was one thing she couldn't stand, it was an awkward situation.

"I seriously doubt he meant anything by it," she told herself as she put on her sleeping kimono. As she shut her eyes to go to sleep, she heard the bells in her room chime and tingle. She opened her eyes and pulled out three senbon. She kept her eyes narrowed as the intruder approached.

Fwit, fwit, fwit!

The senbon were thrown at whoever it was by her bed, but the intruder caught them with ease.

"That was pathetic, hmm. Your aim's better when you're standing up, hmm," said a familiar voice.

"Ehhh? Deidara-san, why are-"

"Hush, Aya-chan," he said as he sat down next to her. Ayame looked at him confusedly.

"Hmm…you never were much to look at," he said suddenly. Ayame glared at him.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked.

"You're very plain, hmm," he said, poking her forehead. Ayame scowled.

"Keh! Like that matters? I gave up on trying to impress people before I even thought about it!"

"Still. How do you expect to find a husband with looks and an attitude like that?"

"Keh! Husbands are for pathetic sad-sacks who can't bear to be alone!"

"But you can't bear it, can you little Ayame? You dread the concept of a life alone, otherwise, you would have left Akatsuki a long time ago. No, your desperation for companionship is shown through your own clumsy and absentminded behavior- ARE YOU LISTENING?"

"Eh? Itachi-san, I can tell it's you disguised as Deidara-san. He would never bring up such a bizarre topic. Keh, the very idea of him trying to make me cry on purpose!" she laughed. Itachi glared.

"Tsukiyomi Sharingan!"

"What the-!?"

Hahahaaa…Itachi never listens to Deidara, does he.

You know the drill!


	4. The World of Tsukiyomi

Chapter 4: The world of Tsukiyomi

"Welcome to the world of Tsukiyomi. Deidara tells me that you have some memories that you've been hiding from," said Itachi to a now tied up Ayame.

"So what if I do? It's none of your business! Rrrghh! KEH! Just wait till I get out of this bloody genjutsu! I'll rip your limbs off and feed them to Zetsu!" she yelled as she kicked and writhed.

"Now now, calm down. I won't hurt you. I just want to know what happened," soothed Itachi. Ayame looked at him.

"I can't really give you a flashback…"

"Sure you can," he said.

YAY FOR RETARDED PLOT THINGS::throws in flashback sequence::

Let's go to chapter five!! Press the pretty clicky button, please!


	5. Flashbacks are Fun!

Chapter Five!! FLASHBACKS ARE FUN!

I still don't own Naruto or any related titles, blah, blah, blah, just read it!

"Well…I guess it started when I turned six…It was my birthday…"

_"Get out of here, you worthless piece of s(&!"_

_"Papa! Don't be mad at me! Please! Ah!"_

_"Be quiet! Stupid little girls shouldn't ever try to tell their papas what to do!" said her mother as she slapped her daughter. Ayame hit the floor and stared at them. _

_"Why?"_

_"Get out! Get out get out! I can't believe you would ask!"_

_"Mama! Papa, Ayame loves you both! Please stop h-hitting me!" Ayame was now shaking. _

"Geez. You were six and already they were hitting you?"

"Hush!"

_"Aya-chan, we don't need you here. Go do something useful, like jumping off a bridge," said her papa one day. Ayame sat huddled in a corner, glaring at him contemptuously. She looked as though she would kill someone. It had been five long years after she told her parents she loved them while begging for them to stop hurting her, and she had given up on the whole prospect of her parents actually loving her. Hah! The very idea of her parents actually caring about her was a lie and therefore disgusted her._

_"Ayame. We never wanted you around. Do as your father said or go bug someone else with your existence. You're making me mad," said her mother._

_"Your pain is my joy," sneered Ayame as she stood up and left. She wandered around Iwagakure for a while before hearing something suspicious. She was startled and began to run. She ran for the equivalent of two blocks before tripping in front of a blond haired boy about twelve years old. He knelt down and looked at her and poked her forehead._

_"Hey, Clumsy Girl, are you okay, hmm?"_

_"…" she glared at him from her position on the ground. Her hair was longer then and fell in her eyes a lot. A young Deidara smiled at her and helped her up. She stared at his hands._

_"Umm…you have-"_

_"I know, hmm." Ayame pulled her head back a little and inched away. Deidara cocked his head at her._

_"What's your name?"_

_"Ayame…"_

_"Do you have a surname?"_

_"KEH! Like I would ever share the same foul surname with my parents," she sneered as she folded her arms across her chest. Deidara looked at her._

_"You're not…Little Ayame, are you?"_

_"Is that what they call me? Most people called me that disturbed kid. I don't care, really," she said waving her hand. _

_"You're bleeding. Hmm," said Deidara cheerfully._

_"Ahh! Dammit!" Ayame held her chin. He held out a cloth for her to clean it with. _

_"Thanks. I should get home though. Kiriko and Takeo are probably wondering why I'm not home and wrecking their lives."_

"Well, weren't we the happy ball of sunshine when we were younger," remarked Itachi sarcastically. Ayame tilted her head and glared at him.

_Ayame walked inside her house and headed upstairs. _

_"Hey, girl, get down here! Your mother and I need to speak to you!" Ayame froze. Could it be possible that they wanted her? She flew down the stairs to see the weird boy from earlier._

_"Deidara-san?" she asked suddenly. Her father looked at her and cocked his head. _

_"You know him?"_

_"…" Ayame was wary now, unsure of what her parents had planned._

_"Young man, if you don't mind an extra person stuck with you-"_

_"TAKEO! I don't think so! Keh, you and Kiriko had me, you should put up with me!" said the eleven year old. Deidara smiled at her._

_"It's fine, hmm! I'd rather she were with someone who likes her rather than two people who tell her they hate her," he said. Ayame stood there, shaking._

_"Ayame…you are not needed. We don't want you, and we don't know how to love you. Just…go!" said her mother. Ayame was numb as she fell onto the floor. _

_"Mama…Papa…why don't you love me? Why don't you want me?" she stared at them. Deidara (being much taller than the extremely tiny Ayame at the time) picked her up and left the house with the shaking girl. _

"You see why he said 'Aya-Chan?' when you first dragged me here?" asked Ayame as Itachi released her from the genjutsu.

"There. Now, I don't mean to be rude, but it is three in the morning, so LET ME GO TO SLEEP BEFORE I REALLY DO TEAR YOUR LIMBS OFF!" yelled Ayame. Itachi chuckled.

"Sleep well." Ayame nodded and burrowed under her sheets. As Itachi turned to leave, he felt something smack him in the back of the head. He picked up the object that clanged to the floor.

"What the- a frying pan?"

Umm…frying pan!

Review please, thank you!


	6. Boredom

Chapter Six: Boredom

Still don't own. Yadda Yadda.

Ayame begins to show affection towards one character, but not the one you think!

_Bounce._

_Bounce._

_Bounce_- THWAK!

"Ayame!"

"Ah! I'm sorry! Leader-sama?! Are you okay?!" Ayame was panicked. She had just nailed the leader in the head with a bouncy ball. He rubbed his head.

"Ayame, despite your clumsiness, I must admit you have incredible aim, intentional or not," he said. Ayame looked at him, eyes sparkling and smiling. She just got complimented! She was bouncing around on the inside, doing an insane little happy dance. Leader stared at her.

"Have you finished cleaning?" he asked.

"Yes."

He paused for a moment, and looked at a vase that Ayame had just straightened. He knocked it over. Ayame was shocked.

"What the hell?!" she snapped. Leader smirked.

"Your boredom means others will probably be hit in the forehead as well. Find something useful to do! After you clean this of course," he said as he walked away. Ayame bent over and began to clean, muttering under her breath.

"Aya-Chan? What are you doing?" asked Itachi as he nearly tripped over her.

"What's it look like I'm doing? Keh," she said. Her now foul mood confused Itachi. It was storming outside, so no one wanted to leave. Ayame was in for a long day.

"NINE! Nine fully grown adult males that can't seem to go anywhere in this unnatural base without making a mess of what I just cleaned up! And the one female. But she doesn't make a mess…" said Ayame to herself as she walked past Deidara's room. The door was open.

"Deidara-san, you've got laundry duty- EH?!" Ayame stared at Deidara, who looked at her with an odd glint in his eye. Ayame looked around and stared at him.

"Umm…well, good golly gosh! I'd better go do…stuff…OVER THERE!" she said as she turned around. Deidara caught her wrist and smiled at her.

"This isn't Itachi-san, is it?" she asked, beginning to shake a little. Deidara paused, looking confused.

"What, hmm?"

"Last night Itachi-san came into my room and-"

"I'm gonna kill him, un," said Deidara letting go of Ayame.

"Wait! Deidara-san! Deidara-San!!" Ayame followed after him, being ignored.

"Deidara-kun, calm down will you?! He didn't do anything like that!" said Ayame. Deidara stared at her.

"So…what did he do?"

"He sent me into the world of Tsukiyomi and made me relive my childhood," she said happily.

"WHAT?!"

"It reminded me of how much I really do appreciate being here. I feel a little needed at least," she said. Her facial expression was sad.

"…" Deidara watched her expression go from sad to happy.

"It could have been worse! They could've left me out in some weird forest to die! Imagine what would've happened if Hidan found me! HAHAHAA! I certainly wouldn't be walking around right now!" she laughed.

"Aya-Chan, you don't normally vomit sunshine. What's so special about today? Hmm?" he asked. Ayame looked up and grinned.

"This is the day you took me in," she smiled. Deidara immediately remembered.

"30 minutes," said Hidan as he walked by. Ayame looked at him.

"Huh?" she asked. He walked over to her and pressed his face very close.

"You will be a lovely sacrifice to Jashin-Sama," he sneered. Ayame narrowed her eyes and pushed him away.

"And your head will make a lovely centerpiece on the table," she sneered in return. Hidan laughed at her.

"I can't die! You &ing idiot!"

"Hmm…you have a point there. Keh! I'll just avoid your room for the next few weeks. See how you can handle the stench that collects after three days. Believe me, dirty laundry, blood, and rotting flesh do not make anything you could stand," she chuckled. Deidara watched her as she pitted her will and wit against Hidan. Hidan hated everyone, especially Ayame, and made it a point to tell her on a daily basis. He was a little surprised. Ayame rarely went back to the cold and sneering Ayame he saw when she was a kid.

"It seems you have a few issues. Apparently you were adept at handling yourself," he said. Suddenly he pulled out his scythe and attacked her. Ayame jumped back, looking confused.

"What the hell?! KAKUZU!!!" she yelled. The man who looked oddly akin to a voodoo doll emerged and stared at Hidan who was about to slice Ayame to shreds.

"What?"

"He's being creepy and trying to convert me again!" she said. Kakuzu sighed and left. Hidan glared at her.

"Now I shall sacrifice you to Jashin!" he yelled as he attacked Ayame again.

KABOOM!! (Yay! A'splodey!)

Hidan flew back.

"Hidan-san, you idiot! What are you doing? HMM?!" asked Deidara; who had moved in front of Ayame who had four senbon ready to throw.

"Testing her reflexes. She improved, look at her hands," he said pointing. Ayame had bounced back during Deidara's explosion and landed in a fighting stance, senbon ready. Suddenly Deidara ducked and she flung them at Hidan. She smiled as one sank into his neck. He pulled it out easily, but glared.

"Ow."

Hidan turned around and called Ayame a name and left.

"Bye! AH WUV JOO!" she teased. Deidara gave her a confused look.

"'Ah wuv joo?'"

"Uhh…" Ayame stared at the ground, and saw a pair of feet approach. Tobi was smiling at her from behind his mask.

"Aya-Chan! How are you?"

"I'm fine," she said, suddenly turning red. Deidara looked at her and cocked his head to the side curiously.

"I'm going to my room. Please don't bug me."

Deidara wanted to think about stuff. As he was walking, Leader-San bumped into him

"Ah! Deidara, just the man I was looking for…you are a man, right?"

"Yes, Sir?" he asked, masking the irritation in his voice.

"You and Tobi have an assignment. I'd like you two to get started immediately," he said as he handed Deidara the sheet of paper with their assignment.

Page break….

It was late at night, and most of the Akatsuki were asleep. Except Itachi. His room was closest to Ayame's and she was not sleeping well. He poked his head in to see her in a cold sweat, and panicking. He considered what may have been bothering her.

"Let's see…Deidara's not here…perhaps she likes him and becomes restless when he's away?" he wondered. He doubted it was Tobi. Tobi was annoying!

"T…meh…" he heard Ayame mumbled and roll onto the floor.

"She's clumsy even in her sleep."

Itachi left after she unconsciously threw a kunai at him.

This Chapter is done now.

Ayame has a thing for throwing objects at Itachi's head. Even when she is asleep. I do not know why.

As always, review.


	7. Tobi, the Lovable Doofus

Still don't own…

Chapter 7: Tobi, the Lovable Doofus

My hands are tired. By the way, it's the morning after Ayame flung the kunai at Itachi's head.

"Kehh…" Ayame seemed a little lethargic as she cleaned Tobi's room. Itachi was following her around, curious to see why she was acting the way she was. He froze for a second when she jolted. She sighed and sat on Tobi's unmade bed.

"Dammit…I really need a hug," she mumbled.

"Hug?" asked Itachi, finally coming out from behind her.

"Yes. A hug!" she snapped. Itachi pondered for a while, but by the time he was done, Ayame had left, still feeling rather restless and peeved.

"…Hurry up and come back," she muttered as she walked past Zetsu's room.

"Aya-Chan? Are you alright?"

"…."

"You seem a little distant," said Zetsu. Ayame looked at him hesitantly. The plant man was always nice to her.

"I'm just kinda lonely right now," she said as she walked through the hall with him.

"You miss Deidara-San?"

"Him too," she said. Zetsu nodded.

"Tobi, eh?"

"Whaaa? Who said anything about TOBI? Pfft hahahahaaaa…yes," she admitted sheepishly after a pathetic attempt at a cover up. (A/N: Wakalakawakalaka…gets smacked by Itachi Ow….wakalaka!)

"You do get a little different when he isn't about," said Zetsu," Most of us assumed you had a thing for Deidara."

Ayame twitched.

"No. Never. EVER." She glared as she said this, making Zetsu repress a laugh.

"Odd. Most girls we run into think he's extremely handsome," he said.

"Keh! He snores!" said Ayame, referring to having lived with him for three years of her life. Zetsu contemplated this for a moment as Ayame left.

"They'd better hurry back," said Itachi as he approached Zetsu.

"Hmm?"

"Ayame can't stand being without Deidara, can she?"

"Heh," Zetsu chuckled mysteriously, making Itachi shudder.

"You'd be surprised," he said as he left.

End Chapter….now!

Ooooh! Spoooky Zetsu!

Zetsu: What's that supposed to mean, you weasel freak?

Me: 'Tachi-Chan is sorry:apologizes profusely:


	8. Recipe For Insanity

Chapter 8: Recipe for Insanity

WOOT! I still don't own this:cries and laughs:

Read and review, and like always, no flames please! Thank you!!!

And major thankies to:

Cster, hikarru, Darkness-Ninja-Princess, i luv u -im bored-, xMangekyoux and  
SitaJocko

Thank you for your reviews! You guys rock:hugs:

Onto the story!

"Yay!" Ayame was happily bouncing off the walls in the Akatsuki base. After narrowly missing Itachi's head, she stopped and sat down, walking into the cave where the giant sealing statue was kept. She sat on the ground expectantly, wearing a smile. Zetsu, (yes. Everyone's favorite plant man, who is secretly Envy's father- :hit with shoe:), walked in to see her grinning.

"What are you so happy about?"

"They're coming back today!" said Ayame cheerfully. No sooner than the words passed her lips, Deidara and Tobi walked in.

"Shut UP ALREADY, HMMM!" yelled Deidara.

"Koni-" Deidara grabbed Ayame round the throat and began choking her, completely unaware of what he was doing.

"You talk too much, hmm! You're almost as bad as Hidan!" he snapped.

"Uwaaaahhh…" Ayame emitted a noise as she came close to passing out. Deidara let go of her, realizing he was strangling her.

"Aya-Chan! Are you alright?" asked Tobi as he ran over.

"Y-yeah. Just let me catch my breath," she said as she threw a blunt kunai at Deidara.

"I don't suppose the dango recipe we found will suffice for an apology, will it?" asked Deidara, holding out a small slip of paper. Ayame stared at it.

"You have no idea…HOW LONG I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR THAT!!" she squealed as she got very excited. (Calm down! It's just a recipe:is ignored again:) Deidara took that as an "apology-accepted" signal and left.

"Thankyouthankyouthankyou!" she said as she bounced around.

"Tobi will help you make some!"

"Thank you Tobi! You're so sweet!" she said. At that moment, she began pondering how he got into the Akatsuki. They walked into the hideout and Ayame got the "I-just-sucked-a-lemon" expression.

"ITACHI-SAN!!! WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE?!" she shrieked as she stared at the puddle leaking from the bathroom.

"Deidara, actually. He blew up the toilet," said Kisame as he splashed through.

"It seems the dango is going to have to wait, Tobi-sama. I have to clean this," she said.

"Tobi will help!" he said. Ayame smiled, her formerly pissed expression softening.

"You don't have to…"

"I will. Aya-Chan shouldn't have to clean up after Deidara-sama all the time," he said as Ayame pulled out a sponge.

"KISAME, CAN YOU FIX THE TOILET?!" Ayame heard Deidara shout. Ayame glared silently at Itachi's door.

"FIX IT YOURSELF YOU LAZY A-" Ayame began yelling, and Tobi suddenly glomped her.

"Aya-Chan is cute when she gets mad!" he said. Ayame paused with a very blank expression on her face. In fact, it was so blank, that it was reminiscent of Sasori's normal expression. How's THAT for blank? Blank, blank, blank, blank, BLA- :hit with shoe again:

"Aya-Chan?" Tobi poked her forehead and Ayame snapped back into reality.

"Oh yeah! Tobi-San, let's go make that dango! I bet Itachi-san will like it!" she said as she grabbed Tobi's hand and ran to the kitchen. (The hallway is clean now.) Tobi was smiling at her. She was still a kid at heart, getting excited over simple things like a recipe…

"Wow! I can't believe what I'll need to make this. I hope we have everything," she mumbled.

"Why?"

"We do have enough mirin and caster sugar, right? And sake. I'll need some sake," she said. Tobi stared at her, thoroughly confused.

"Huh?" he asked. Ayame smacked her forehead.

"I'll find it. Just get a bowl for me, please," she said as she searched through a cabinet. Itachi entered the kitchen to see Tobi holding a medium sized bowl and Ayame with her head in a cupboard.

"Dammit, where's the mirin?" she growled. Itachi pondered.

"Mirin? Why?" he asked. Ayame pulled her head out of the cupboard and smacked her head on the shelf as he stood up to face him.

"Deidara-san brought a dango recipe he found," she said. Itachi thought for a moment and reached over Ayame's head to the top shelf and pulled down a bottle of the ingredient. She glared.

"Who put it up there?" she asked as she pulled out a frying pan.

"I didn't want anyone getting into-"

FWAM!

Ayame's pan clattered to the floor after she hit Itachi with it again.

"What was that for?" he snapped as he stood up.

"Putting the rice wine up where I couldn't reach," she said. Then she helped him up and gave him an onigiri.

"What's this for?"

"For helping me get it down and for leaving the kitchen," she said with an evil glint in her eyes as she held the frying pan rather menacingly. Tobi watched as Itachi shuffled out of the kitchen.

"How do you do that?" asked Tobi quietly.

"Hmm?"

"How do you get them to listen to you?" he asked.

"Itachi's head has become very well acquainted with various kitchen utensils, mostly because he was bothering me while I was trying to cook. I don't need any leverage against Kisame- he's always been polite to me; I've threatened to poison Deidara's food, and I have done so. It wore off though. But he had a nasty puking reaction to it…" Ayame remembered it and shuddered.

"Sempai mentioned that…he said he tries to stay out of the kitchen when you're in here," said Tobi as Ayame began cooking.

"It's going to take fifty minutes for these to finish. I'll clean up," she said as she shuffled about in the kitchen. Tobi hovered nearby before startling her with an annoyingly personal comment.

"Deidara-san thinks you like me."

Ayame blushed furiously and decided to force herself to trip and land face-first in the sink. While her head was under the soapy water, she thought to herself.

'No no no! Bad girl Ayame! You don't EVER tell anyone how you feel again! Stupid, dumb-' her thoughts were interrupted by a sudden lack of oxygen.

'KUSO! I have to breathe eventually!' she said as she pulled her head out of the water to give Tobi a bizarre look between embarrassment and relief. At that moment, the blue haired member, (whose singing voice is infinitely better than Ayame's) walked by humming something to herself. Ayame glared enviously.

"Aya-Chan?"

"I can't help but envy her. She's tough, pretty, and kicks my butt when it comes to singing. Let's face it: I'm as desirable as Kakuzu is charitable," said Ayame as she leaned against the counter. Tobi tilted his head.

"What do you mean?"

"Keh, it doesn't matter," she said.

"Aya-Chan, you're not the pretty type to worry about things like that," said Kisame as he walked into the kitchen. Ayame sank to the floor.

"Maybe Itachi-San was right…" she groaned. Tobi stared at her.

"I 'dread the idea of a life alone,'" she said sourly.

"I like you, Aya-Chan!" said Tobi, pulling her up off the floor.

"A lot of people like you! Itachi thinks you're funny, and I do too! And you cook really well," he said. Ayame mentally kicked herself. Weapons, killing, she was fine with it. When it came to talking to someone she liked, she was about as clumsy as…well, as she normally was.

"Hah! Ayame-san is about as desirable as she is graceful!" said Hidan as he walked through.

"I think she's pretty," said Tobi kindly. Hidan stared.

"Are you blind? Look at her! Ordinary, clumsy and…she looks like she hasn't seen sunlight in a few years," he said. Ayame glared.

"At least I don't look like a VAMPIRE-FREAK!!"

"I'll kill you, Flower-Girl!"

"Eh?"

"Ayame, it means Iris, which is a flower. Flower-Girl, get it- AH! You're distracting me from my rage!" he said as he slashed at her with his scythe. She bounced out of the way and turned and ran. Hidan chased after her, rage in his eyes. Out of nowhere, Ayame's foot was in his face. He grabbed her ankle and flung her down onto her back. He had her pinned down when an evil smirk spread across her face.

"Dei-DARAAAA," she called in a singsong voice. Deidara came out of the bathroom looking quite disheveled, but enraged when he saw Hidan on top of Ayame.

"GET OFF MY SISTER!" he yelled as he threw a bomb at him.

PAUSE!!! WHAT?! You and Ayame are related? I'm the author and I didn't even know that!

Deidara: No…read on. Ignore the author- she hasn't gotten enough sleep.

"Katsu!" The bomb detonated, knocking Hidan away and leaving Ayame on the ground, quite shaken up.

"What did he do?" asked Deidara. Ayame shook her head.

"We just started fighting again, is all. Um…why did you call me your sister?"

"I've known you for so long, you seem like a sister is all, hmm," said Deidara indignantly. Ayame smiled.

"Thanks…Onii-sama," she said as she hugged him.

"Aya-Chaan! The dango is ready!" called Tobi.

"I'll be there in a second," she said. Deidara pushed her away from him and sent her in the direction of the kitchen, where she crashed into Tobi.

"I had a feeling you had a thing for Tobi," said Itachi, arriving shortly after her.

"I…I…" Ayame stuttered and stared at the ground.

"I can't tell you."

Will our clumsy little ninja tell Tobi how she feels? Will she ever pull the dango out? What about Hidan?! And where's Zetsu for all of this?!

WHAT MUST HINATA THINK?!?!

Anyhoodlez, I'm leaving Ayame's fate up to my reviewers. Should Tobi like her back, or shall I leave her to wait for another person "just for her"? (Chobits reference. YAY!)

Let me know with a review!

Review please, and as always, no flames.


	9. Obligatory OVA Chapter

Obligatory OVA Chapter Told enitrely in Hidan's POV (because he's just WAAAY too much fun to write for)

Fanfiction by: chibitachiweasel (formerly known as Ayame1017)

Disclaimer: Naruto and all related titles are NOT mine. /emo Music: Elfen Lied- "Youkou" (Go listen to it while reading this. It just makes it funnier) Disclaimer II: I also do not own Elfen Lied. //emo

The Way I See Her

Yeah. You know me. I don't now you, but you know me. The foul mouthed, foul tempered Jashinist. F---...  
That stupid weasel girl told me to tell you all how I feel aout Ayame. Itachi-chan threatened to decapitate me and store my head in the freezer if I didn't. That sadistic little weasel girl. I can see why Itachi chose to be her mentor.  
So here you go. How I see her. Ayame.

I don't understad why we keep her around. She's annoying. I hate her a lot.  
Okay...maybe not hate...but I do DISLIKE her. Itachi-Chan: You don't hate her?  
No. She cleans my room, and Jashin knows what a dangerous task that is. The girl's got guts, I have to say that much. "Hidan-sama!" she says. "F--- off Ayame," I say. She pouts. Always wih the pout. I don't know if she's flirting or what, but if she is, I'll torture her. Mentally.  
And physically. Heh. I can toy with her mind as much as I want. Deidara can't do anything about it. As for Itachi, I don't know if he gives a damn about the girl. Tobi's an idiot. He's not even a full member. I don't understand why he thinks she's cute. She's scrawny, foul tempered, conniving, sadistic, and looks like she hasn't seen the sun in years.  
This is what Iwagakure produces. Idiots who blow shit up and say "un" or "hmm" after everything and who look like girly men.  
And klutzy little girls who can't walk across a flat surface without obstacles without finding something to trip over. I'd have to say my worst expirience with her was...oh Jashin...it was awful.

FLASHBACK

"Hidan-sama, please...help me," came a small girlish voice. "Ayame, what do you want?" I was obviously confused. Why had she poddered into my room?  
"I...I'm confused about everything," she said.  
"The hell? I can't help you, even if I wanted to," I said. She looked like she would cry if I didn't at least try.  
"I...I don't know what to do!! I'm only sixteen, and yet...why? Why did you guys take me? Why didn't you leave me to die? If you had, the stupid weasel girl writing this woudn't put me throuh this hell"  
"I can't help you there, Aya." She grabbed the front of my cloak and I can't believe this, but she started crying.  
And not the cutesy femmy crying that you see the little Mary-Sues do.  
Full on, sobbing, tears, snot, mucus...and OH SWEET JASHIN! The kid had a bloody nose to boot.  
"Why can't I be even remotely normal?" she wailed. I looked around awkwardly, wanting Kakuzu to fix her.  
Maybe he could sew her mouth shut.  
Or he could talk to her. She always liked him better than me.  
"Listen...Ayame, I can't help"  
Then she did it.  
She f---ing hugged me and kept crying. Thank Jashin that girly-man Deidara walked by at that moment. I flung a scroll at his head and nailed him. He came in and pulled Ayame off. "Give her a break Hidan, she's at that age," he said. I blinked once.  
"It's...OH JASHIN HELP US!!! Konan is bad enough about that, but...AYAME has one too"  
"Eh"  
"Oh no...I knew having more than one female would be bad!" I yelled. Konan...little blue haired one...she was scary at...THAT time...I never saw Ayame while she was...erm...surfing the crimson wave.  
I think Deidara usually locked her in her room. If not, he would stick her with Konan...those two got along well. Being female and whatnot.  
"Deidara-san...I feel sick," said Ayame shooting me a tearful glare. "What the hell did I do"  
"She's just being crampy and moody, hmm," he said as he picked her up and carried her to that basement room of hers. Two minutes later I heard an:  
"OH GOD!!! IT HURTS"  
"Ayame, calm down, hmm"  
WHAT THE-  
Being the idiot that I am, I ran down to see what was happening. Deidara was trying to shove a painkiller down her throat and she was clutching her abdomen.  
"Hidan, hold her still, and whatever you do, don't let her hands touch you. She can rip stuff off," he said darkly. Being the oh-so-wonderful man that I am, I complied, hoping to shut her up.  
Then Jashin forbid, there came the fingernail.  
In the eyeball.  
She did a very good job at ripping it out. SEVERAL MINUTES LATER

She was asleep, though occasionally she would jerk about. Deidara had given me the thankless task of watching over her. I have to admit, that despite her abnormalities, she was kind of cute when she was asleep. She wasn't insulting me when she was asleep. "I like her betterwhen she's asleep too," said Pein from behind me. I jumped about half a foot.

END ZE FLASHBACK SANK YOU.

So there you have it. That was by far, the scariest encounter I've had with her.

WE INTERRUPT THIS BIZARE AND IRRELEVANT CHAPTER TO BRING YOU A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT!  
Hey! You punk! Knock that off-

HERE IS THE ANNOUNCEMENT! Ze end of ze chapter.

:rereads chapter: Nope. I'm not happy with it. Neither is Hidan. Neither is our clumsy kunoichi. Poor thing. I almost feel sorry for her.

Anyhow! I need reviews, please. As I satated in ze previous chapter, Aya-Chan has a thing for Tobi. I'd like it very much if you would let me know what you think should happen to them.

Review please, and no flames, thank you:bows:  
-Itachi-Chan-

Well...here's a quick little update. My brain hurts. I had a very annoying test today.


	10. Being Cryptic Makes Tobi Mad

Hello, and welcome back to "Akatsuki's Nightmare: Ayame, the Clumsy Ninja!" I apologize for my lack of regular updates (too much homework!! AGGH!) Umm…allow me to take a few moments of your time with a brief explanation about the previous chapter: I feel that little touches like what Ayame went through make her seem a little more human. I want to keep her as un-Mary-Sue as possible. And I'm really sorry about the grammatical errors. It was typed on my dad's laptop (which does not have word) at about one in the morning. Anyhow, back to our scheduled fanfiction!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any related titles. This makes me sad.Now I make emo-face.

Chapter 9: Being Cryptic Makes Tobi Mad

_"I can't tell you."_

"Ayame-san, please tell Tobi what you mean," he said. Ayame sighed and kept staring at a knot in the floor.

"Tobi-Sempai, I don't want to say it…it could get us in trouble…" she grumbled. Itachi stepped outside, still watching the awkward girl speak to Tobi. The seventeen year old stared at the nineteen-year-old's feet. (Kishimoto said he's fairly young, yes? YES?! I'm just guessing here. And Ayame is too small, hence the sixteen year old appearance. LOL, CHOPSTICK FIGURE!!!)

"Ayame-san, Tobi does not understand why you are so shy suddenly. You aren't normally shy around the others…do…" Tobi gasped," AYAME-SAN DOES NOT LIKE TOBI?!?!"

"No! No! Tobi, it's just the opposite!" she said, blushing. Oh how she blushed; she looked like a tomato with black hair and brown eyes…chibi tomato…

"Ayame likes Tobi…but she is shy around him? Aya-Chan is a very strange girl," he said. Itachi groaned inwardly. He wasn't sure how Tobi was to get it through his head unless Ayame flat out told him she loved him. And Ayame was at the oh-so-fun awkward stage when she couldn't speak like a normal human being.

"Ayame-san…why are you crying?" asked Tobi innocently. Ayame's expression changed from tearful to embarrassed as she wiped her tears away furiously.

"I'm a kunoichi! I don't cry over boys!" she spat at herself. Tobi was confused.

"You are crying because Tobi is a boy?" Itachi and Ayame sweatdropped.

'….moron…' thought Itachi. Kisame arrived by his side.

"What's going on in the kitchen? Is Aya-Chan cooking and not letting you in?"

"Oh…she's COOKING something alright…" said Itachi pointing at the drama that was being played out by the two occupants.

"Oooh…poor kid. She's really taking some damage, eh?" said Kisame as he sat down to watch.

"Tobi…does not want Ayame to cry," said Tobi. Ayame smiled at him and hugged him.

"Ayame is happy when she is around Tobi," she said, playfully speaking in third person. Tobi wasn't sure why, but he felt happy when Ayame hugged him.

"When Tobi is not here…does your heart hurt?" he asked. Ayame blinked. She knew it did…so much so that she could not sleep peacefully…Itachi had even complained about her flinging heavy projectiles around when she slept and Tobi was on a mission.

"I…feel sad when you're not here…and…I…don't like it when you're not around…" she mumbled. Deidara approached Kisame and asked what was happening.

"Shh!" he said as he pointed. Deidara watched intently. Hidan and Kakuzu emerged from the hall, Kakuzu being quiet and Hidan being…Hidan.

"What the hell? Why is everyone out here?" he asked noisily. Kakuzu had caught wind of what was going on, and shut Hidan up by knocking his head off and kicking it into the living room. (A/N: Boot to the head! XD)

"Aya-Chan…likes Tobi…but more than a normal person, yes?" he asked. Ayame nodded, mentally kicking herself. She sighed. The masked man would never accept her…

"Tobi has always thought that Ayame was cute…in a loli kind of way…"

At this Ayame gave a strange expression that looked like a cross between horror and flattered-ness.

"Lolita complex…?" said their audience quietly.

"But Ayame is also pretty in a young lady way when she is serious about something…unless you're hitting Hidan…then you're scary."

"Heh…" Ayame cringed. All he knew was how she looked? She felt a bit disappointed.

"Tobi also thinks Ayame is very nice, and a good cook. And she has a good sense of humor, even when she is sad. I think Ayame is special," he said bluntly.

"What does Ayame think about Tobi?" he continued.

"I think…you're nice and funny…and you're almost always there for me to talk to, and you keep your room clean, so it's not as big a hassle to clean," she said.

"Do you think Tobi is…cute?"

"EHHH??"

"Is Tobi cute?"

"Um…y-yes…?" she said. She couldn't see it, but Tobi was grinning widely under his mask.

"Ayame is cute! Like…a PUPPY!" he said happily.

"Oh man! NOT COOL, Tobi!" said Itachi, finally growing frustrated with the boy.

"Itachi-San, were you watching-"

"Yes, Aya-Chan, and you need to spit it out, NOW," said Itachi. Ayame took a deep breath as Itachi explained the inner-workings of teenage girls to Tobi.

"Tobi…I'm going to apologize right now."

"Why?"

"Because Aya-Chan…Aya-Chan is…." She hiccupped.

"What?"

"Aya-Chan is sorry that she is a coward!" she said as she turned on her heel and ran. She nearly tripped over Hidan's head in the living room, but kept on until she reached the exit.

Tobi realized that Ayame was running away. Itachi walked off to persuade her to stay.

"Aya-Chan?" asked Itachi as he exited the hideout. Ayame was gone. Long gone. Like…realllly long gone.

"Zetsu-San!" called Itachi. Zetsu poked his head out of the ground.

"Yes?"

"Ayame has run away. Please find her?" asked Itachi politely. Zetsu nodded.

Ooooh!! Did I leaves a good cliffhanger? I hope so. I'm already working on chapter eleven, yes! So please review! And as always, no flames, and I hope you enjoyed it!

SNEAK PEEK!

We're about to have a one year timeskip, mmkay? And a certain snake-boy is about to rear his duck-butt head!


	11. Curse Killing

Well, wasn't that weird? Ayame ran away, and stuff. What a baby. . 

By the way, this is rated for language…and other stuff…

Disclaimer: I still don't own Naruto. ::continues making emo face::

Chapter 11: Curse Killing

Months passed. Ayame still had not been found. Tobi was still worried. Itachi didn't care much, but he did miss the dango. Deidara was about ready to kill whoever had made his "baby sister" run away. Hidan and Kakuzu still argued, clearly not caring at all. Zetsu was still searching. Sasori was still dead. ( TT3TT )

"Itachi-San? Has ANY luck been had in finding her?" asked Deidara. Itachi shook his head.

"Deidara, we go through this every day. Your love for her is admirable, but it's a weakness. Let her go," he said. Deidara glared.

"You Uchihas are all alike…no sense of family…" he snarled as he stormed off. He simmered down as he entered Ayame's vacant room. Aside from Konan's room, it was the only clean place in the Akatsuki base. And even then, it was lousy with dust.

"A-CHOO!!!" someone sneezed.

"Tobi? Wha-"

"I was hiding in here, hoping she would come to find the person she likes!" he said intuitively. Deidara was impressed.

"You understood her?"

"Of course. I'm not an idiot," said Tobi sharply. Deidara smirked. He had a completely different opinion.

"Well…if you're so brilliant, how do you think we should find her?"

"Where is one place Ayame would never EVER go?"

"Besides Konoha? Otogakure," he said.

"Pachi pachi pachi!" said Tobi, clapping his hands.

"What do you mean by that, hmm?!"

"If you think about it, Aya-Chan isn't very hard to figure out. She's likely to go where we WOULDN'T think to look! But Tobi knows her better," he said.

"Tobi! Deidara! We have news!" said Kisame, poking his head into the room. The two emerged and saw Pain standing with a solemn look on his face.

"What is it, Sir?" asked Deidara.

"Look at these," he said, tossing a pile of papers down.

"UGH!" Itachi, Kisame, Deidara, Tobi and Hidan all reeled at what they saw. Ten pictures, each showing a mutilated body, with only one thing left behind.

"A kunai?"

"Yep. That's our girl. But look at what the little devil's gone and done!" said Pain, with a mixture of affection and disgust in his voice. Or maybe it was indigestion from Itachi's horrible cooking. I don't know.

"It says, 'Unnatural deaths in small unnamed village cause people to believe in a vengeful spirit. These curse-killings have yet to be confirmed or denied, but the culprit is suspected to be a young woman in black'" said Tobi.

"That little demon," muttered Hidan.

"What do you mean?"

"'Curse-Killing'? That girl has one thing on her mind, and it's to fill that void in her heart. She has been wronged by humanity, so they ALL deserve to die. And she's starting in small villages…isn't this one nearby?" asked Hidan suddenly.

"Yeah! I can go check it out," said Tobi.

"Not without your Sempai," said Deidara. Tobi was smiling behind his mask.

"But ruthless killing doesn't sound like our girl at all," said Itachi. Konan nodded.

"Aya-Chan was never really supportive of killing people, no matter how sad she was. She could have gone and killed her parents in Iwagakure, but she didn't…these killings don't make sense at all," said Konan. Hidan frowned.

"You're all saying that just to make fun of my theory. I get the feeling Ayame was driven insane by her love for the lollipop freak and just began taking-"

"Hidan, we all know how YOU would react, but Ayame isn't you," said Kakuzu.

"Either way, we aren't certain of the killer's identity. So it's wise to use caution," said Kisame. Itachi stared off into space, wondering how long it had been since he had had really good dango. His mind was never really on Ayame, unless he was going to bother her about food.

"Be careful. She's ruthless. She won't go easy on you because you were all friends," said Pain as Deidara and Tobi took off. Tobi paused.

"You don't know Aya-Chan, then," he said.

Okay, I lied. Sasuke hasn't shown up yet. But leave a review anyway, please?


	12. Music and Blood

Haisai!! Wow, that last chapter was weirder…well..um…let's see if I can fix things up now. Back to the funny.

Disclaimer: I no own the Naruto!!

Chapter 12: Blood and Music

By the way, I think I forgot to mention that this is rated for language, mild violence, and mild sexual themes. (Not lemon, but crushes and such.)

"Tobi…for the twelfth time…GET OFF OF ME, HMM!!" yelled Deidara as they made their way to the "cursed village."

"You two!!" yelled a woman.

"What?"

"Can't you read?! That sign clearly states that this village-"

"Is home to the world's biggest daikon radish," finished Tobi, reading the sign.

"No! Underneath that one!" shrieked the woman.

"'This village is cursed! Those who stay for the night are NEVER seen again,'" read Tobi.

"That's why we're here, hmm," said Deidara.

"You two are suicidal?! Fine! Stay here if you want, but don't blame us if you die," said the woman pointing them in the direction of the village square.

Tobi looked at Deidara, and silently wondered if they would find Ayame. Maybe it was a coincidence, maybe not, but for some reason, part of him was a little tweaked about Deidara's insistence upon tagging along with him.

"Sempai?"

"Hmm?"

"Aya-Chan…isn't all that useful to us, is she?"

"No. Not really."

"So why do we let her stay?"

"Because…she's 'special' in a way. She has her faults, but she makes us laugh. She has moments when we all want to eviscerate her, but then she makes up for it in her own weird way. We may not always realize it, and she may not either, but she depends on us for support. We have become her family, hmm," said Deidara.

"But we're evil-"

"She's not all good, and we're not all bad. Everyone on this planet has good and evil in them, Tobi," said Deidara insightfully.

"So…she's like the yin to our yang?"

"Very good! And you even remembered that yin is the feminine energy. I'm impressed, hmm," said Deidara with a smile. Tobi tilted his head.

"Do you think Ayame might be hiding in the cemetery?"

"That sounds like something she'd do…morbid little creature, hmm," said Deidara as they made their way to an area with lots of tombstones.

"Aya-Chaaan!!" called Tobi.

Something rustled.

"Aya-Chan!" he yelled as he ran to the bush. It exploded in his face.

"Oh great. She's in turbo-bitch mode, hmm," grumbled Deidara. He stepped forward only to fall into a pit.

"AYAME!!! HOW DARE YOU DEFILE A HOLY PLACE WITH YOUR TRAPS!!!?!? GET YOUR SCRAWNY BUTT OVER HERE SO I CAN KICK IT!!!" screamed Deidara.

"Go away!!!" a female voice shrieked and Tobi was knocked off his feet.

"Sempaaii…I think we found her," he said before sprawling out on his back. Ayame walked over with the intent to bury Deidara alive, but decided a little witty banter was in order.

"Aya-Chan…" said Deidara as the girl stood above him. She had grown a bit.

"Deidara-san…would you like to come out of there?" she asked. Deidara smirked.

"Idiot. We're ELITE ninjas," he said as he climbed out of the pit.

"While your little traps are clever, I- Holy crap!" he said finally taking a look at her. Her hair was longer, and pulled into a ponytail thing at the bottom, and her outfit suited her a little bit better. It was still purple and black, but the skirt-thing was longer, with a slit running up to her mid thigh, which was covered with tight-nit ninja mesh to protect her modesty. The top, however, remained the same.

"What happened to my chopstick sister?" asked Deidara. Tobi sat up and fell right back down.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" asked Ayame, suddenly bright red.

"Nothing. Aya-Chan, are you behind all these murders?" asked Tobi.

"No. I wouldn't be so sloppy about it. Jeez, I'd be offended if you guys weren't like family to me," she said, finally giving up on the idea of eliminating them. She knew it would be a losing battle anyhow.

"Even Tobi?" asked Tobi touching her hand. Ayame's face looked like it would explode.

"I…um…"

"I know you like me Aya-Chan…" he said. Ayame stared at her toes.

"Tobi-San, I do…and it's very hard for me to say this, but while I was gone…I was thinking about how hard it was to be without you. Without ALL of you," said Ayame.

"Why don't we go home?"

"The Leader will never let me go back-"

"BAKA!" said Deidara, slapping the top of Ayame's head.

"He sent us after you," said Tobi.

"But Tobi wanted to find you," he said softly, making Ayame blush once more.

Tobi was having fun. He could make Ayame turn red simply by touching her or speaking in certain tones.

As the trio sat talking, music began to drift from the main village.

"That's HIM," hissed Ayame. She crouched.

"What is she talking about?"

"The supposed curse killings. They aren't me. Every time this music plays, people die. I think it might be an Uchiha doing this. I've seen flashes…of horrible, horrible duck-butt hair," she whispered.

"Itachi's baby brother?"

"Yeah."

"Aya-Chan!" snapped Tobi, pulling her away from the viewing area.

"You can't go after him. You're not strong enough," said Tobi. Ayame frowned.

"I found out he was behind the killings without getting caught. How tough can he be?" she asked.

"Pretty tough, since my target fell for it," said Sasuke, emerging from behind her. He punched her in the side with enough force to knock her away from Tobi. He ignored the two Akatsuki members and focused on her.

"What do you want with Ayame?" hissed Deidara, landing in front of him.

"I've picked her to be a vessel," said Sasuke. Ayame sat up.

"I DON'T WANT TO!!" she yelled as she turned tail and ran. He jumped and landed in front of her.

"God dammit!! Leave me alone you pervert!" she yelled flinging senbon at him and trying to run again. Deidara and Tobi watched from a tree, finding it somewhat comedic that Sasuke couldn't get Ayame to hold still.

"You're as bad as an antsy toddler," he snarled at her. She smiled.

"Glad to hear it," she said as she turned and continued running…until her clumsy nature took over and she tripped over a fallen tombstone and flew headfirst into a tree.

"Aya-Chan!" yelled Tobi as she righted herself and Sasuke pounced on her.

"Get off!" she shrieked. She pulled out a kunai and began stabbing at him, only to miss. Tobi took after him as Deidara set a small explosive on his back and detonated it. Ayame was curled up o the ground shaking.

"That bastard took my ribbon," she hissed as she felt her neck.

"What?!"

"The ribbon that had my special pendant. It was my only Iwagakure trinket other than the headband, and the little bastard stole it," she said.

"Let's get you back to the base, okay? We'll deal with the matter of your stolen ribbon later," he said, while wondering how Ayame could be more upset about a stolen ribbon. She was still such a child.

"Aya-Chan!" called Tobi. He ran all the way up to her and put his hands on her shoulders, making Ayame's heart beat at the rate of a hummingbird's.

"T-Tobi-San?"

"The Sasuke-San took this, but I got it back from him!" he said, holding out a purple ribbon with a sparkly rock on it.

"Thank you so much!" she said with a huge smile as she hugged Tobi. Deidara sighed and made a bird for them to ride on.

"Ayame, you look sleepy. And how long has it been since you had a bath? Have you been eating right? What time do you go to sleep?" nagged Deidara.

"Oh shut up!" she yelled as they all took a seat on the bird.

"Deidara's right about one thing," murmured Tobi.

"You reaaaaalllllyyy need a bath," he said.

LOL, Aya-Chan needs a bath. She stinky.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter!!

Please leave a review, thank you::smiles::


	13. Hidan is a Pervert

When we last left off, Ayame had been retrieved from a "cursed" village. Now she's back and our scene starts out with her up to her chin in warm water and BUBBLES!!

Rated for HORRIBLE language, mild violence, and mild sexual themes. If that's too much, you can leave if you'd like. By the way, the facts that I provide scientific support for ARE INDEED FACTUAL!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. If I did, certain characters wouldn't be getting their asses kicked by Duck-Butt Head Boy.

Chapter 13: Hidan is a Pervert

Ayame sank lower into her warm foam bath and held some bubbles up to her mouth and blew. She stretched and sighed. She hadn't felt this good in a while. Her long black hair looked weird underwater though, and that didn't please her.

"Aya-Chan? Is it safe?" asked Tobi. Ayame looked down. The layer of bubbles was too thick to see through, and only her face was exposed. She supposed it would be okay; besides, Tobi wasn't a pervert…we think.

"Go ahead."

"Aya-Chan, um…" Tobi kept his head turned away from the bathtub.

"I'm sorry about this!! I don't mean to be a pervert or anything!" he said, growing flustered. Ayame threw a ducky at him.

"Relax, you can't see anything," she said. Even so, just for protection, she moved her long hair in front of her torso.

"You look like you have a beard," said Tobi, finally calming down. Ayame smirked.

"You like doing this sort of thing to me," she said softly. Tobi tilted his head.

"Making my heart flutter, causing my hormones to soar out the window hand in hand with all of my logic; I know you do it on purpose," she said.

"You are observant," he said with a coy voice. Ayame turned red and suddenly sank under the water. She remained there for almost thirty seconds when Tobi began panicking. He peered over the edge nervously.

"Aya-Chan?!? Are you okay?!?" he asked in a panicked voice. No response. He placed his hands under the water and pulled Ayame up by the shoulders. Not enough to show anything, but enough to make his cheeks burn under his mask.

"SEMPAAAIII!!! HALP!" he yelled. Deidara came running, only to spin around really quickly.

"I DON'T WANT TO SEE THAT!!!" he yelled. Had Ayame been conscious, she would have been cracking up at the ridiculousness of it all.

"Sempai, at least grab a towel or something for me?!?" wailed Tobi. Deidara grabbed one and threw it at Tobi, who shut his eyes and pulled Ayame out of the water and wrapped her in it.

"HOLY CRAP!!" yelled Hidan as he walked by.

"What the ----- are you all doing?! Why is she bleeding?!" he asked, trying to figure out whether or not he should be gleeful or horrified.

"Aya-Chan is b- AHHHH MY GOD!!" yelled Tobi as he noticed a little puddle of blood had pooled around his foot.

"She must have hurt herself on something in there-"

"Um…my fault," said Hidan sheepishly. Tobi carried Ayame to her room and laid her down on her bed, fleeing as soon as possible.

"Too much! Tobi's good boy mind was almost tainted by Hidan-worthy yuckiness!" he lamented.

"Tobi's right, Hidan. You're a pervert," said Deidara. Hidan spluttered.

"How dare you f---ers make such an accusation?!" he asked.

"What accusations are they making now, Hidan-San?" asked Itachi as he walked over.

"They're calling me a pervert," he said in a whiny tone.

"You are," said Itachi.

"Am not!"

"Are too."

"Am not!"

"Are too."

"AM NOOOOOOOOOTTTTT!!!" Hidan shrieked.

"…Are too," said Itachi, finally getting bored and leaving. Hidan sat on the ground, red in the face.

"Why was Tobi in there anyway? Who's the pervert now, eh?"

"Tobi wanted to talk to Ayame," he said innocently.

"You went in th-"

"She said it was okay. Tobi didn't see anything. Tobi respects Ayame, unlike YOU," he said, stabbing a finger in Hidan's direction.

"YA KNOW WHAT?! I bet you I could get her in-"

"Shut up Hidan," said Deidara, suddenly turning his head slowly as though in a horror movie. Hidan paled.

"Shutting up," he said as he skittered away.

"Why did you want to talk to Ayame, hmm?" asked Deidara.

"I went in to ask if she wanted to go somewhere, but then I saw her and everything in me got all tight and fuzzy…and-"

"Not another word Tobi, hmm," said Deidara. Tobi tilted that swirly head of his.

"Deidara-Sempai, why does Ayame turn red around me? I mean, I understand that she likes me, but why does she turn red every time I start speaking directly to her?"

"Aya-Chan is undergoing an autonomous function called blushing. We can't even control it- it just happens. Typically it is caused by the heart pumping blood even faster than normal due to a specific stimuli. In Aya-Chan's case, you happen to be that stimuli, hmm," explained Deidara. (A/N: OO Whoa.) Tobi stared at Deidara. Itachi stared at Deidara. Hell, even I stared at Deidara, and I'm the author of this damn fic!

"When did you learn all of this?" asked Itachi, being the first to recover from the shock of Deidara's being able to explain the mechanizations involved with blushing. Deidara shrugged.

"It's as if some invisible force is putting words in my mouth for comedic effect, hmm," he said. Ayame poked her head out of her room, after finally getting dressed. She had a glare plastered to her face that would make Satan cry.

"Why are you all outside my room?" she asked.

"Tobi wanted to finish his conversation with you," he said. Deidara smiled and left the two alone. Itachi had left somewhere in the middle of the whole comic relief sequence. Ayame blinked at Tobi.

"No fair," she said.

"What?"

"You have a mask. I can't read your emotions, but you can read mine," she said.

"You can read mine fairly well," said Tobi thoughtfully. Ayame fell backwards.

"What?! All I ever see is an occasional movement!" she shrieked. Tobi stayed patient, though he was still upset with her for running away.

"Ayame does not love Tobi," he said. (A/N: Ouch.)

"Wh-"

"Ayame ran away from Tobi. How-"

"Tobi..."

"Aya-Chan does not love Tobi! Stop lying to yourself-"

"IDIOT!! I left because I couldn't bear to be around someone who didn't love me back," snapped Ayame. Tobi scooted backwards.

"Aya-Chan..."

BLOOOOOOOOOSHH!!!!!! (That's the sound of something exploding.)

"HOLY CRAP!!" shrieked Ayame, as the door to her room blasted out before her eyes. She and Tobi both stood there, staring at her now demolished room. Deidara poked his now slightly charred head out from the archway and grinned sheepishly.

"Uhh...art is a blast?"

"Blast is what I'm gonna do to your head in a second!!" screamed Ayame, who was once again in turbo-bitch mode. Tobi resisted the urge to laugh. Konan, Pain, Itachi, Zetsu, Kisame, Hidan, and Kakuzu rushed to the spot.

"Deidara! What happened?!" asked Pain.

"Well, ya see, I remembered I had left a sculpture in here, but I sneezed, and it sounded like I said 'katsu', only it blew up and now Ayame doesn't have anywhere to-"

"Oh yes she does. We haven't discussed your punishment for running off, young lady," said Pain, grabbing her by the ear and dragging her off into his office. Everyone cleared off, except for Konan and Deidara.

"You will fix her room," said Konan in a bored tone.

"But- OH MY GOD!"

"What?!" she asked, startled by his outburst. Deidara began shivering.

"Her music box...her music box...the one that sounds all freaky 'n shit..." he said, genuinely scared now.

With any luck, his explosion missed it.

But he wasn't one to have good luck.

In fact, he had a feeling his luck was about to go from bad to "Oh Shit" worthy. Because, there in the debris of Ayame's room, lay a box.

A pretty wooden box.

That was missing a hinge.

Deidara was screwed.

But not as screwed as Ayame.

Page Break

"So, Ayame, I've decided upon your punishment," said Pain. Ayame stared at her feet.

"You will stay in Tobi's room until yours is fixed. Oh, don't give me that look, young lady," he said with an exasperated sigh. Ayame had a full on pout going.

"I don't-"

"Calm down. It's not like he's going to violate you or something," said Pain, ignoring the flustered eighteen year old. (A/N: Timeskips are fun!)

"Yeah, Aya-Chan. Tobi is a good boy, unlike Hidan."


	14. Why Are You Lying?

_Ohhohohohoho!!! I am so evil to my fan characters!! Poor Ayame is being forced to stay in Tobi's room while her room (blown up by Deidara) is being fixed. What will happen to our poor little spaz? By the way, I'll probably be wrapping up this fic soon. (Like, in this chapter) Please let me know if you'd like a sequel, thank you:blows kisses at everyone just for kicks:_

Rated for language, and in this chapter, moderate sexual themes (cuz I'm EVIL!)

Disclaimer: I'm still not in possession of Naruto. Or crack. But I don't want the latter. Just the former.

Chapter 14: Why Are You Lying?

(Listen to this song while reading. Just trust me! This chapter gets a little deeper than the last few. Emotionally, I mean.

"Aya-Chan can stay with Tobi!" he said happily. For some reason, he was as giddy as a schoolgirl about her staying with him. (A/N: forgive me for writing that...) Ayame sat on the floor of his room staring at the wall.

"I will not move from this spot until my room is done. I will not move from this spot until my room is done. I-" she repeated this sentence over and over until Tobi grew bored and pushed her onto the floor. She looked as though she was going to die from a massive nosebleed. Tobi stayed in his seated position on top of her.

I feel it's necessary to take a step back to look at Tobi. While he says he is a good boy, he is still a boy, and therefore a PERVERT. Also, he is still evil, and gets a kick out of doing this type of thing to Ayame. Maybe he feels more though...? Pfft, I don't know. I let the characters kind of spin the tale. I just give 'em a prompt. (And Ayame is fun to pick on.)

"Aya-Chan...?" he asked, now looking at his captive. She had passed out. Tobi gently laid her on his bed and left the room. He would not violate Aya-Chan's personal space anymore for now.

Following Tobi

"Tobi, where is Ayame?"

"She's sleeping," he said sweetly. Kisame rested his feet upon a table. He let out a yawn.

"Don't blame her. It's getting on past eleven," he said. Itachi lifted his head up from where he was "reading" (sleeping) and stretched.

"Going to bed. Good night," he said. Kisame nodded and bid his good nights as well, and followed down the hallway. Tobi meandered toward the remains of Ayame's room. Deidara was holding her box and trying to fix it, to find that it still played music.

"Tobi, where is she?" he asked.

"She's asleep in my room," he said, suddenly mischievous.

"Why is she in your room?" asked Deidara.

"Leader-San told her she was to stay in MY ROOM with ME while you finished fixing her room. I'm pretty happy about it myself," he said, noting Deidara's face as it flushed a lovely puce color.

"Why is that, hmm?" he asked, grinding his teeth. Really, he was not pleased with this insolent little boy.

"Because I get to see her all night-"

"I will kill you if you even so much as TRY to take her virtue away," growled Deidara. (A/N: WOO!! Go Nii-Nii!!)

"I just think she's cute when she's asleep! Jeez, even Hidan does!"

"Hidan only likes her sleeping kimono because it's-"

"Ah, Jeez, I'd love to continue chatting, but I'm beat. Night Sempai!" said Tobi as he skittered along to his room. He settled down next to Ayame and removed his cloak and mask. The girl was sound asleep. And Tobi's face was revealed. He stood up and walked over to her.

"Zzz..." was all she said.

He leaned over and brushed a lock of hair out of her face. Her expression was unhappy. Tobi frowned. He leaned closer and before he even realized it, had placed his lips on hers, only to quickly remove them.

"Myeeewwweeeheeeeeeewwwwwwwwww- AH PU PUAAH!!" mumbled Ayame in her sleep. Tobi lifted an eyebrow.

"Aya-Chan, do you truly love Tobi?" he asked gently in her ear.

"Dammit Itachi, give back Tobi's freakin' dango," she sleep-muttered. Tobi tried again.

"Jeez, I thought you were s'posed to be a genius," she continued sleep-mumbling," 'course I love him. I love him so much it hurts...TIMOTEI!!" (Please say you got that reference!)

Tobi hopped back a step and saw Ayame staring at him, hair messy, eyes wide.

"...Yup. Still dreaming," she said in response to his handsome face. She dropped off to sleep again. Tobi wiped sweat from his brow. Ayame was sleeping peacefully now. But he now had a problem. He wasn't willing to move her, or she might try to kill him when she was roused once more. He felt he got lucky the first time, but he might not be a second. His only option was to snuggle under his sheets next to her and make sure he woke up first.

He had a feeling even if Ayame woke up first, she wouldn't steal his mask or anything, but he was concerned about how she would react to waking up and...well, not being alone. He paced his room and pondered, and then it hit him. Why not just ask if she didn't mind? It was polite, and he could still sleep in his own bed. Not to mention, ever since Hidan tried to sacrifice their heater, his room had been exceptionally cold at night. He pulled his mask down and gently shook Ayame. She opened one eye.

"Nyergh...whaddaya want?" she asked grumpily.

"Tobi has nowhere to sl-" he couldn't finish before Ayame simply tugged on his arm and pulled him down next to her. She snuggled next to him, making him turn a really pretty shade of red.

"Cold," she grumbled as she threw some sheets over the now shocked and blushing Tobi. He brushed her hair out of her face and woke her again. (A/N: Ya got a death wish or something??)

"Aya-Chan, will you promise not to tell anyone if you see Tobi's face in the morning? I don't like sleeping with my mask," he said. Ayame nodded.

"Not like it matters- I saw it earlier," she mumbled, clearly no longer coherent.

"Now pleaaaase, let me sleep. I'm really tired," she said as she rolled over, obviously not really caring that she was snuggled up to the person she cared most for in this whole organization. Who would if they were exhausted? Tobi let her wrap her arms around him, but pried them loose when she began squeezing too hard.

PAGE BREAK, as I got bored and told Tobi to quit being a pervert and just go to sleep. Mweeheehee.

"Good morning, Aya-Chan," murmured Tobi. Ayame opened her eyes slowly. And shrieked.

"HOLY CRAP!" she yelled. She sat on the side of the bed and flipped over.

"Okay...still a good girl. Got my virtue," she said, with a breath of relief.

Tobi twitched. He had a smirk on his uncovered face.

"Does Aya-Chan not remember what happened last night?" he asked mischievously. Ayame slapped his head.

"Can it," she said as she walked over to put her regular clothes on. She turned around to face Tobi.

"Don't peek, or I'll kill you," she said bluntly. Tobi placed his mask over his face.

"You wouldn't really do that-"

Ayame laughed maniacally.

"A laugh isn't going to intimidate me," he said, suddenly appearing very close to her. He pressed his body against hers.

"Just because you've seen a sweet side of me doesn't mean I don't have an evil side," he said in her ear. Ayame shivered. Hr heart was pounding so loud, she could swear Tobi heard it. He pressed himself closer to her.

"You have no idea how powerful I am," he murmured," and in your case, I don't have to hurt you physically. All I really have to do is run my finger down your arm." he did just that and sent Ayame into a hormone induced tizzy. She shut her eyes and forced herself to think of other things.

'Zetsu, Itachi's cat, Deidara-Onii's snoring...yeah...okay, I'm better now,' she thought to herself. She opened her eyes and suddenly smirked.

"How would Tobi-San react if Ayame slid his mask off his face and kissed him?" she asked in third person. Tobi had a smirk on under his mask, but being the uber-Akatsuki that he was, he lied through his teeth, arousing no suspicion from Ayame.

"Tobi isn't sure what he would do," he said. Ayame was wondering if she had the guts to actually pull this off. Tobi was wondering the same thing. She steeled herself and lifted her hands to his mask and moved it just above his lips. She saw him smirking and almost lost it. Actually, no, she did lose it. She shoved Tobi away and held her stomach and panted.

"I'm sorry, Tobi-Sama," she said. She took her clothes and darted into the bathroom to change. Tobi sat back and smiled.

"She's so cute when she gets like that," he said. Pain walked into his room.

"Oh, hai. Why did Ayame just run into the bathroom and start banging her head on the walls?"

"What?!"

"She's freaking out right now, but I think she finished getting dressed. Go fix her- I want my breakfast," said Pain. Tobi left his room to go try to talk to Ayame.

"Aya-Chan? Are you okay in there?" he asked gently.

"Go away!!" she yelled.

"Aya-Chan-"

"Don't be so familiar!" she shouted.

"Ayame-San, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings," he said.

"Why are you telling lies, I wonder?" she muttered.

"I'm not lying," he said.

"LIAR!" she shrieked. The normal buzz that ran through the base fell silent. Deidara, Itachi and Hidan poked their heads out of their rooms. This was a little scary for all of them. She had never shrieked like that. The bathroom door opened and Ayame stepped out. Her eyes were blank.

"You're lying. Why? Why are you lying to me?" she asked," I thought I was your friend."

"Aya-Chan...you are my friend," he said. Deidara got fed up and pushed Tobi out of the way.

"Leave Ayame alone! Hmm," he said. He pulled Ayame into a hug and petted her hair.

"It's okay," she said, pushing him away.

"I've been through worse," she said flatly. She left the hallway and began to go about her chores.

"I wonder why I want to destroy it because it's important," said Tobi. Deidara turned to look at him.

"What, hmm?"

"Aya-Chan is quite important to me. But I want her to stop being that way," he said.

"You've gotten attached to her," said Deidara, raising an eyebrow.

"I like teasing her; her heartbeat gets so fast and I know I can do whatever I want to her, but I don't like that. She's too...I don't even know what to call it," he said.

"She's precious to you, but you're worried you're going to hurt her," he said.

"I want to but I don't want to at the same time. Am I a masochist?" he asked suddenly.

"Sometimes I wonder," said Deidara as he left. Tobi wandered out into the hallway where Ayame had just finished cleaning. She wasn't there. Tobi walked over to the kitchen and looked in. No one was there.

"Tobi, have you seen that scroll I 'borrowed' from Kisame?" asked Kakuzu.

"Ask Aya. She probably took it or something," he said absently. Ayame's words were kind of stinging at him.

_"Why are you telling lies, I wonder?"_

_"Why are you telling lies, I wonder?"_

_"You're lying. Why? Why are you lying to me? I thought I was your friend."_

Theses words floated throughout his mind. He hated being called a liar. But he couldn't hate Ayame for calling him that. He understood; he knew she felt like he had been toying with her, and in a sick way, he was. But now the tables had turned. He walked over to the wreckage that was Ayame's room.

"Tobi-San, why are you outside my room?" asked Ayame from behind him.

"I was thinking," he said.

"What about, I wonder," she murmured. Tobi turned to fully face her.

"Aya-Chan is truly precious to me, and that frightens me a little," he said. Ayame's eyes remained unfeeling. They were devoid of light, love, sadness; it was as though the life had been sucked out of her with a vacuum. Tobi frowned.

"Ayame's eyes are scaring me a little," he said.

"Why?" she asked, in a soft, lilting voice.

"They usually shine a little; most eyes do. But now they're empty," he said.

"Eyes are the windows to the soul. Perhaps they reflect how I'm feeling. Perhaps it's because someone among us is a liar," she said. Tobi approached her and placed his arms around her.

"Stop acting like you care. It's a lie," she said, pushing him away.

"Tobi is not lying," he said.

"All of these emotions you stir in me are caused by a lie," she said. Still, no emotion.

"Tobi will prove that he is not lying," he said as he pulled her into a room and pulled off his mask. Ayame turned her head away from him. He gripped her chin and forced her to look at him.

"Look in my eyes when I say this," he said. Ayame's remained empty, but for a brief flash, he could swear he saw sadness flash in them.

"Aya-Chan is very dear to me. I might even say...I might even say..." he began to falter in his speech. Ayame stared at him.

"What?"

"I might even say I love you," he said. Ayame's eyes flooded with tears.

"You're...you're not lying. You're not lying!" she cried as she grabbed onto the front of his cloak. Tears streamed down her cheeks.

"Ayame...do you love me?" he asked.

"Of course I do, you moron," she said. Tobi smiled, and hugged her close to him. He tilted Ayame's chin upward.

"Ayame is Tobi's," he said as he placed a kiss on her lips. And this time, she was awake for it.

TA DAAAAAAH!!! THE END!! THE END THE END THE END!!!!

I hope you all liked that last chapter!

As always, leave a review. And please tell me if you want a sequel. :yawns: I think I'll go write another fanfic...or not. Reviews really do motivate me!!


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